Extramarital affairs leading to more divorce in Kashmir valley
Mir Sabeen Gulrez
Nearly 50 cases of domestic violence being reported in every month in Srinagar:Officials
“Our lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort in our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” (Ayat No. 74, Verse 25 of the Quran)
According to officials, nearly 50 cases of domestic violence are registered in the District Court of Srinagar each month, some of which are old and the majority of which are new while the scenario is getting worse instead of improving, the case of extramarital affairs, which is alarming these days, and is unfortunately becoming a trend in future generations and major cause of increasing divorce rate .
Marriage is a pious relationship between a man and his woman and is endorsed by the Holy Scripture as well as by the great teachings of Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H). But nowadays, marraige is becoming a burden because of some misunderstandings, domestic violence, and most importantly, because of extra-martial affairs, which are very common these days.
Having an affair after a marriage is becoming a new trend as people find themselves very comfortable with the opposite sex rather than their wives. They begin to chat or gossip with a friend, willingly or unwillingly, and fall into the trap of an affair without disclosing to the other their secret of already being married.
Having an affair these days is not bad, but when you are already married and share the bond with the next person who is your wife, it becomes the first gap in their relationship. This becomes the first issue to be raised as a man or woman loses interest in their partners as they start spending their precious time with their friends or partners, which should be given to their family. They always remain on their cell phones instead of giving time to their husbands or wives. This leads to heated arguments, which lead to domestic violence most of the time.
Divorce under Muslim law is classified into several categories, including husband (Talaaq-ul-Sunnat, Talaaq-ul-Biddat, IIa, Zihar), wife (Talaaq-ul-Biddat, IIa, Zihar), and father (Talaaq-ul-Biddat, IIa, Zihar).Divorce by wife (Talaaq-E-Tafaweez), divorce by mutual consent (khula, mubarat), and divorce by judicial decree under the Muslim Dissolution of Marriage Act, 1939 (lian, fask).
As per Section 13 B of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and Section 28 of the Special Marriage Act, 1954, the couple should be living separately for at least one year before divorce proceedings can begin. However, Section 10A of the Divorce Act of 1869 requires the couple to be separated for at least two years.
For couples, healthy mirages are good for their mental and physical health. For children, growing up in a happy home protects them from mental, physical, educational, and social problems. Marriages, which don’t last, can have numerous reasons for their call off.
In a chat with News Kashmir, Advocate Sana Khan, a J&K High Court lawyer, stated that when handling these cases there first priority is that the perpetrator be punished. But it is very unfortunate that these cases take time.She observes “Everyone in the room has something valuable to contribute; we deserve a spot at that Physical Or Metamorphical Table.It is Axiomatic, that there is no smoke without fire. The same is applicable to divorce.The most common “Final Straw”, reasons of divorce are:1.Domestic Violence2. Infedility between Partners .3. Lack Of Intimacy.4. Arrogance/Egoistic Nature.5. Third Party Factor6.Medical Reason and Dowry somehow responsible as well.
These cases should be handled on priority as the person, either male or female, is suffering. When the person who is a victim comes with these kinds of cases, they always complain of only one thing: “I haven’t narrated all the things to anyone.” This becomes the first issue, as when you keep mum, the other person takes advantage of that and thinks that we aren’t answerable to anyone.
Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, is defined by Section 498 of the Indian Penal Code as violence or some form of abuse, including mental, physical, and sexual abuse, in a domestic setting such as marriage or cohabitation. a common occurrence throughout the world, but in India it is prevalent here as the issues of dowry, male dominance, and living in joint family setups are the norm here. Section 498A deals with “matrimonial cruelty” perpetrated on a woman. Matrimonial Cruelty in India has now been made a cognizable, non-bailable, and non-compoundable offence.” She further added that a woman or man should take legal advice first before falling into these kinds of traps.
There is a case where a man (name withheld) who was a divorcee married a woman who was also a divorcee and who had a 12 year old daughter at the time she (her mother) got married.
The person accepted her and her daughter accepted willingly and now when she turned 22, he (the father) is saying that he won’t keep that girl in his house because she is not his daughter. Besides, the girl has done so much for that house. Even while working with some meagre wages, she purchased everything from household things to carpets out of her own salary. But, alas, no court or judgement can save her today.
So there should also be something for adoption in Muslim law.
Meanwhile, While talking with Advocate Barkat Kaur Rattan and Advocate Barjis firdous, working independently for the J & K High Court in Srinagar, told news Kashmir, that, “In Islam, Muslim women have been given various rights, but nowadays, men have changed it according to their ease and usually under Sec 12 of the Domestic Violence Act, while the case is pending, only a man can remarry only while taking permission from the first wife itself, but here we see to whom justice has not been done, which also concludes domestic violence in the shape of emotional and physiological abuse. And secondly, whenever a woman who is a victim of domestic violence is to be suggested to go for a Domestic Violence Act case first, not only for maintenance, as she can ask for maintenance in the Domestic Violence Act case itself as a prayer. Moreover, there is one issue whenever a party in a Domestic Violence Act comes into compromise. The men usually keep one condition, that is, if the wife remarries, she has to give the child to the father, but if the husband remarries, no condition is applied. That is totally wrong.
Why do women only suffer? They make such kinds of conditions to make women’s lives hell so that she suffers more and the man himself enjoys his normal life”. She further added that one more thing in Muslim law is that there is no scope for adoption.
There is another case where a lady (name withheld) who was married in the year 2018 has a child with her who is almost one year and six months old.
The issue is that the person (name withheld from her husband) who was working outside and after marriage started delay tactics for work, the lady herself started working while the man was always giving excuses for work in one way or the other. She thought once Ishehad a child, he would start working, but this was her illusion instead of work.
When the weird guy started having an affair with other ladies, once, when she confronted him, he started doing mental torture to her. Her sister-in-law, who is married from the beginning, has created havoc in her brother’s wife’s life. Never leaves a moment to taunt her. The lady, who is a victim, wished to be free of this toxic relationship but is unable to do so due to societal constraints.In between, their child is suffering as he needs his father and mother’s care too as they both wanted to get rid of this relationship. And instead of women, who should get moral support from relatives, they are struggling because of society’s fears.