The Silent suffering

The Silent suffering.

Zainab Maqbool

Social media and how the jihad conversations go is no more a hogwash now .Many jihad’s have been discussed in this third space like love jihad and  sub technical terminology  that has erupted off lately like ‘arm chair jihadist’ is it much ado about nothing? Or do we really skip the thin line of reality and imagination in validating the real one ?Of all the above quoted “jihad’s” men (males) have been seen upfront and prominent in doing so (no pun intended) have we ever considered the one that are real and fought in silence ? Consider a person fighting against his own nafs (that prophet of mercy  salalahualiwasalam declared the best one ) and more so , consider the women in particular who do it in silence , whilist bidding adieu to her paternal home and embracing the displacements of emotions , displacement of soul , identity ,self per se.nonetheless the second step of this silent jihad is embracing the ‘haplessness’ in the new ‘kinsfolk’ ,this haplessness confounds  itself more so when religion takes a backfoot and cultural idiocies thrives at the front .This should not sound as a generalization ar any exageration per se, as the tales are same in every household almost especially in this part of world  This haplessness that’s thrusted to you and asked to reconcile yourself with it; can take a toll on mental and overall health of someone who don’t succumb to the stereotypes.this haplessness (as said) is to tell you and teach you that be that as it may ,in the new ‘kinsfolk’ your female leader mother in law has to be a dispenser of nonsense and she has fundamental right on bickering ,but your poor self has to brace up by going in a mute embarassed,for a retailatoin could mean danger (even if you are right in doing so) this haplessness is taught and deliberated upon women as not to retort to the toxophhilus sister in law ,if any come what may,for that could be a blasphemy,and of done so you are again at the receiving end , folks might question that its women who belittle women ,but trust me it’s always more than what meets the eyes The question here also is not whether to embrace or not this deliberate haplessness on you , but question here is not showing resistance n rebellion , but the instances of these acts that could end up in a rift and has now become an abnormal trend and reality. 
When we have kept Islam on backfoot,it cannot be an exaggeration to say most men fail in creating a proper balance ,as has been assigned to them as ‘quwaams’ Let alone taking up the side of the partner which has been inculcated in his as a serious blasphemy again. Since our men are not taught during a Jummah khutbah as to how to treat a women, how not to do lopsidesness, how prophet salalahualiwasalam emphasized on if the women is treated well, whole world will be better  .it’s upto you .but to an utter dismay our Jummah khutbah consists of discussion in  that no one understands and debates on gas cylinder prices and other petty things , no one understands a language that is alien to him, that is truth, can’t they teach in comman parlance and teach what is truth ?Next onus is squarely on these moulanas /muftis who read nikah to the couples at the first place , knowing the other limitations they could have sought different possibilities for the sake of Allah and contributed in making world better Least they do is to take contact information of groom and ask him to visit him personally for the married life guidance and how to tackle things there of ,do counseling sessions nd if they could ever charge for it a little amount it was not at all bad ,bit to an utter disgust these muftis /moulanas are in haste as to feed their bellies on these ceremonies,rather than do the opposite .Some women do it and can do it to a large extent at their home themselves who are well in deen , alhumdulliah, or have other possible compatibility and cordialities ..but think of those who have no voice, till  a collective conscience of these people and particularly of these moulanas/muftis awaken .women would continue to do an unsung silent jihad , a jihad of deliberated haplessness thrusted upon her as to fit in and not to be a consequence in a collatral damage too, their antidote will be hereafter and when they will hold these muftis  (our enlightened scholars ) by collar on the day of recompense as not all can be well acquainted in every possible manner as people have to be , specialisation differ and what worth is degrees if not spent in a cause that is upright and just .
Zainab maqbool .Email teaches English language and literature at department of higher education.