Place of women in this patriarchal society

By Beenish parray


Women, who are embodiment of ‘frailty’ and patience, can be seen in the shape of a mother, a sister, a daughter and a wife or a better-half that is she has to play different roles at different stages of life. She forms the most important part of society. But women often have to encounter wild behavior from fellow humans.


As if crowd and scorching heat were not enough, that a skinny boy with suffocating smell, started touching the girl sitting beside me. At first it seemed an accidental touch but repetition made his intentions clear. When for the third time he repeated his gesture, the girl’s patience broke down and in a fit of anger she slapped the guy. Everyone in the bus was stunned. After a few heated arguments, the boy left the bus. After a while the people started talking about her clothes and scarf less hair. Soon their discussion reached to the moral of girl. I could see her tearful eyes. She could not hold herself anymore and left the bus. I hurtfully sighed on the plight of living in patriarchal society. This incident prompted me to put down these lines.


Kashmir is a land of peace and conflict tradition and culture. Butthe bitterest truth of those is Patriarchy, According to Wikipedia the word Patriarchy means ‘the rule of father’. However in modern times it generally refers to social system in which power is held by men. Our society hasfailed to accept the most important fact morality and culture are conditional. Kashmir has always been known as land of saints and religious interpretations have always favored men. This probably gives them the power to mould religion according to their will. Male ego and suppression of feelings are their methods of practicing patriarchy. The irony is that females participate in patriarchy more than men do in my society. They have confused modernization with vulgarity. The rights of women are non-existent here women have no right to even advise on household matters let alone make decisions. Even in the freedom struggle of Kashmir, women also suffered a lot.

They have to take permission of their father in law or brother in law or husband or even son to visit their parental house. Actually for equality to persist no permission is to be sought. Many of us have accepted it as a destined matter. Women must fight constantly for their rights. Men don’t have to fight for their place in society like women. Patriarchy is also found in family traditions like women taking the name of their husbands, and children always carry the father’s name. Most women choose to retain their maiden names in order to maintain their identity. With reference to Mr and Mrs. So and so and assumes the dominant role again and women loses. Women may never truly win over patriarchy but they must continue to hold their ground whenever possible to change the tide in our society. It takes only small steps to start with and women who are bold and do not give in to men and their power, there is a chance that women and men can be equals in life…

“Behind every successful man

There is a hand of women.”